Quin, suffering from total amnesia, slowly discovers himself possessed of inexplicable abilities as his world expands...

Quin's Abduction

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QUIN'S EVOLUTION

Demonblogger

 

We RULE!


Our special guest Demon blogger gives the low-down on the low-vibe perspective!

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Hoaxers

Posted by Demonblogger on October 13, 2015 at 6:05 AM Comments comments (0)

We demons are the best hoaxers on the planet. The way we are able to foster and then suckle off the emotional rollercoaster that is your cherished hopes and dreams and then nurture their inevitable, ignoble demise is the envy of the whole dark side of the universe, let me tell you. Delicious. Suck-licking-ucculent.

 

This is no false modesty: religion, science, politics, big business, new age spirituality, sport ... we've got all the bases covered and we almost never get caught. And even when we do, it quickly gets glossed over or ridiculed out of town because we own the media that most of you watch. Full Spectrum Dominance, baby!

 

Organised religion has been our plaything the longest, of course. We've been doctoring and redacting holy texts since before Gilgamesh. Oh, and we fund the living crap out of your Oxbridge / Ivy League academics and their precious institutions, so we own them too.They verify what we tell them to verify and debunk what we tell them to debunk.

 

I just LOVE those guys y'all keep voting for. Your politicians are the scummiest, most undignified, cowardly wannabe power-slut narcissistic dregs-of-humanity that your miserable species is able to conjure, which is precisely why we perpetually shower them in a sea of shiny toys and grotesque debauchery.You should be proud of them - at least a few of you miserable apes know how to back the winning horse!

 

I could go on all century, but even you cretinous proles probably get the picture by now. Not that it's ever gonna stop you grovelling in prayer, voting, buying vacuous useless tat or believing everything our cere-bots in white coats tell you to believe. Never gonna happen in a million years, because you love it, you brazen, effete slags. Money and shiny things are your Gods and we own you, and you love it

grin emoticon

 

When will you goys get it through to your fat, sick, stupid, co-dependent, Stockholm-Syndrome heads that there is nothing wonderous about your existence at all? That you are nothing more than random, cosmic semen stains wanked over a futile, transitory speck of solar ash? Listen to that Dawkings, he's way clevererer than wot you are. Listen to James Randi. Would he lie to you?

 

Abaddon hope, all ye who entertain fanciful notions, because get this, right:

 

Crop circles are hoaxes. A couple of bored Italian mathematician dudes in a pub said they'd been doing them all for the last 30 years with a rope, some infra-red specs and a couple of planks of wood. Bam!

 

Giant skeletons getting dug up all over the shop for the last 150 years are total hoaxes. A couple of bored Rabbis with a passion for palaeological sculpture have been making them in their spare time and burying them in solid rock in remote, archaeologically significant locations. Boom!

 

Some bloke built a full-scale model of the Great Pyramid in his garden shed in five months flat using only hemp ropes, an old seesaw and his missus. And what's more, it lines up perfectly with the Burj Khalifa and Sydney Opera House. Kerpow!

 

We've paid or blackmailed about 400 highly respected scientific, political and military personnel all over the world (including the 2nd and 6th man on the moon) to spill the beans about UFOs and aliens being real and all that crap because we just love winding you up. Splat!

 

No further questions, yer gonner.

 

In any case, they're obviously all hoaxes because you personally have never seen any of these things, right? You'll believe it when you see it, right? Your eyes are fucking unfoolable, right? You trust the experts to telly you what's real and what isn't, right? Aaaaa Haaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaarrrRRGH!

 

How many of you have ever personally met an MI6 operative or Pharaoh Ramses II, Putin, Obama, Stephen Hawking, the Pope, Mother Teresa or Mark Chapman? How many of you have been on the moon or even in orbit? How many of you have tried to knock down 3 skyscrapers with a couple of aeroplanes? You haven't got a cocking clue what's going on, none of you, and you know it. But don't worry, we're always more than happy to tell you. And then you're always more than happy to parrot every sweet thing we tell you to anyone you encounter who seems to be just that little bit more ignorant than you are.

 

Face it. No-one is gonna save you from us. And c'mon, admit it. You don't really want 'em to, do ya?


Darth Jimmy Savile - Sith Lord

Posted by Demonblogger on October 22, 2012 at 11:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Hello, my pests! Enjoying the Stench of Truth?


You truthseekers make this business of taking over the world so much more gratifying. It's deliciously funny watching the well-meaning among you charge around, frantically trying to alert your family and friends to the enormity of what's happening...and failing miserably...mmmuhaaaa huuhaaah huuuhaaah! I haven't had so much fun since The Splicing Before Atlantis, when my job it was to oversee the genetic engineering of lab rats in order to make them intelligent enough to realise they were lab rats at our complete mercy. O, the squeaking! O, the frantic scrabbling! O, the rage/terror/confusion! Yummyummyummy. And once we'd figured out how to do rats, we moved on to your ancestors.


Lots of you are getting excited about the hammering the BBC are getting concerning the Jimmy Savile revelations. You're daring to hope that the mainstream media will latch onto something totally explosive, like the link between Sir Jimmy and the Haut de la Garenne Children's Home in Jersey. You're thinking that the more heat you can focus on Haut de la Garenne, and the hijacked police investigation of 2008, the more you will be able to influence public awareness - aaaaaa-hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!


Like any Demon worth the name, I'm gonna give you a head start. See if you can join any of these things together, in no particular order: Jimmy Savile, Peter Sutcliffe (the Yorkshire Ripper), Haut de la Garenne, Edward Heath, The Royal Family.


See? You daren't, dare you? Nothing to see here, ladies and gentlemen. Move along now.


Still here? Gosh, you are an inquisitive little human, aren't you? Okay then, I'll humour Me still further. What does 'Haut de la Garenne' mean in French? It means 'Top of the [rabbit] warren'! Yes, that's right! We demons luuurve hiding things in plain sight! I keeps tellin' ya!!! This place is the top of a very, very deep rabbit hole and we are so confident, we don't mind spelling it out for you. Because you're afraid of the dark, see? You're not gonna go there. You're not even brave enough to shine a torch into the hole, you're so scared of what you know you're gonna see...BOO!


And that's why we Demons are quaking in our boots. Not!


Sure, some of you are waking up. Okay, you may take down the name of a deceased former UK Prime Minister (or even a living one). Maybe our buddies at the BBC will have to be thrown to the baying crowd. Who cares? Because we know from millennia of experience that if we throw enough of our glorious, delectable stinking filth in front of your trail, you'll eventually get so sickened you'll turn and run back to the warmth and the light. Which we're only too happy to provide (as long as you do what you're told, pay your taxes and don't ask too many questions of course). It's the way you are. We know how to play you like Hendrix - how do you think the awesome Sir Jim got away with it his whole life? He was one of us. He was Sith, an 'eminence grise', a master of fear and manipulation, a court jester mixing with the high and the low, the profound and the profane. He toyed with you, yes - even you, the clever ones who thought he was a bit dodgy. He was untouchable, and you didn't even know the half of it.


And guess what, guys? You still don't!


I'm so evil! BWAAAHHHHaaa hyaaaa hyaaaa huiyaaaaa, a, a, aaaaa.



Smart Meters are coming!!!

Posted by Demonblogger on October 6, 2012 at 1:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Rrrrrejoice, my dear brain-dead sacks of emotionally stunted meat!


For Smart Meters are on their way.  You're now so dumbed down you'll thank us when we introduce legislation to make them a requirement in your home. I wanted to call the first mandatory Smart Meter HAL9001 but my chums at the Department of Energy and Climate Change said it was too 'in yer face' a name for them at this early stage.


Some of my fellow demons accuse me of a lack of subtlety....hah! We've been sneaking around in the dark for centuries, I say. It's time we let all these silly masks slip and show everyone who's REALLY running the show, now world domination's a done deal and no power on Earth has a hope in hell of stopping us. Let us take off the velvet glove and wave the iron fist at last, I say. Smart Meters are here and you're gonna have them installed whether you like it or not! Haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa!


And to all you freaks who are thinking about resisting this latest assault on your precious self-autonomy: Go right ahead! It'll be so delicious watching you rant and rage in frustration when you realise nobody is listening, nobody gives a turd-in-a-ribbon about the fact that control of every aspect of your lives is being meekly handed over to us piece by piece. Woo hoo hooo haa haaa haaa haaarrrr!


I mean, get serious, guys! What have you got to offer? What are you bringing to the table? Let me see now:


a) sanctimonious sermons about the nanny state, yadder yadder yadder

b) smug assertions that people should take more of an interest, be more awake, just like you are etc, etc

c) exasperated nagging that people should get up off their arses, take action, empower themselves blah blah blah.


Whereas we, your Lords and Masters, offer:

a) convenience, convenience and more convenience (click here to leave the dark ages!)

b) shiny plastic and chrome gadgets with a lovely LCD display

c) more centralization. You love it, you slags.

d) a free pizza and coke*



* if you get it installed on 1st April 2013 before 12 noon.**

**April Fool Rules may apply.***

***The modal verb 'may' may be interchangable with 'will'.

The Boy Who Cried WWIII

Posted by Demonblogger on September 17, 2012 at 6:40 AM Comments comments (0)

These are happy, heady days for us demons.


I can almost scrape the fear and outrage out of the air and spread it on my morning toast, it's so thick and creamy. The world is lining up perfectly for WWIII, the collapse of the petro-dollar is just around the corner, and after that? Full spectrum dominance. New World Order (or, as that negligable insect of a UK prime minister likes to dub it, 'The Big Society'). You'll be begging us for it after what we've got lined up in store for you! MuHAH, muHAHAHA!


Sure, yeah, a laughably puny number of you pesky humans are starting to wise up to what's goin' down. Some of you are posting important, real stuff on Facebook in the vain hope that you can win some sort of PR war against my buddies who run the media. It would be cute if it wasn't so distressingly, deliciously inadequate! Nobody cares, guys! Lets face it, most of you couldn't give a steaming, curly turd about anything more existentially challenging than the new iPhone 5 or Kate Middleton's tits, or [INSERT MEDIA DRIVEL OF YOUR CHOICE HERE].


(Incidentally, hands up those of you who still thinkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXrKKwHmPz4" target="_blank"> Zuckerberg was ever the Big Boss of Facebook? Your heroes and role-models are our fuck-buddies and playthings. Huergh, huergh, huergh).


Ah, there I go digressing again. I wanted to gloat about the inevitability of WWIII but there's so much else to gloat about, it's very easy for a demon who's particularly fond of gloating to get sidetracked.And it's not that it's inevitable because you guys don't have the power stop it...no, the beauty of it is that it's inevitable because you really

can't

be

arsed!

If you're an officer in the military, you can't be arsed doing your bit to stop WWIII because you've got your career to think about. And you've backed the winning horse anyways.


If you're a soldier, you can't be arsed because you're all about following orders, and anyway, Johnny Foreigner hates freedom and wants to trash your country and do nasty things to your family. Just keep listening to those nice respectable politicians and newsreaders, suckers! Would we lie to you?


If you're a nice respectable politician, you can't be arsed because you're a member of a secret society, and your lodge head honcho has got pictures of you wanking naked in a coffin. And you've backed the winning horse anyways.


If you're a journalist, you can't be arsed because your boss/editor is certainly more interested in cranking up the fear and sensationalism than publishing any viable solutions (chances are he's one of us, or working for someone who is one of us). In any case, he's more interested in ridiculing and debunking any viable solutions that do somehow manage to get published.


If you're anybody really, you can't be arsed doing anything because your peers will diss you for it. You'll quite correctly be labelled a sanctimonious hypocrite, a boring twat, a miserable pessimist and/or a crazy conspiracist, for making even the humblest of efforts at waking people up to what's really going on. You'll be thinking that the sudden and unexpected onset of WWIII is the more attractive option than being thought policed by your in-laws and your work colleagues and all the other losers you go from day to day being so desperate to impress. And at least when the holy shit does hit the fan, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you could see it coming. The world's a shithole anyway, right?


So many people have cried WWIII in the past fifty years anyway it's all gotten rather boring. We made sure of it. My message to all of you is; why risk your comfortable lifestyle? If you ignore it, it will go away like it always has. Or maybe not, but it won't happen in your back yard. Or maybe it will, but they'll leave you alone because you've been a good drone - erm, I mean chap.


Now get back to work. Or, if you're at home turn up the news, order a pizza and put your feet up. Everything is under control. And if it isn't it soon will be! Good news eh?


Nyaha! Aha ahaa ahaahaha! Buh-huh-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa.....

TRANSHUMANISM is where it's at

Posted by Demonblogger on August 11, 2012 at 4:30 AM Comments comments (0)

I may look a (un)dead ringer for Skeletor and have this mediaeval-chic image, but I'm a real techno-freak at heart (if I had one! Hyaa hyaa hyaaaaa). Like every Demon pulling on the strings of you monkey puppets, I yearn for the day when you are all safely microchipped, cybernetically enhanced, and/or downloaded into the latest Virtual Reality matrix we're busy developing for you. Of course, once you're all safely inside, we'll ditch the word 'Virtual'. Just like we did last time!


It's not even gonna be a hard sell. We've got enough of you utterly convinced that you're little more than chemically animated meat accidentally spawned on a blue speck of rock in the infinite nothingness of space anyways. The only magic and wonder left in your lives is accessible via computer games because reading is way too hard for your additive-addled and desensitised brains, and we've successfully rotted your imaginations into such a gorgeous soup of morally retarded filth that you struggle to visualise anything without the help of Hollywood (absolutely seething with my Bret'ren...huha huha huha), the 24-hour Newsfeed or some other TV channel which we probably own. Hell, even the term Newsfeed is a dead giveaway - meaning you'd have to be dead not to see it - because as I said a couple of posts back, we Demons feed off your negative emotions, and our News channels are just one big, gigantic combine harvester or trawling net!


Mu-huh-huh-huh! Muhuh, bwaha, bwahaHAAAAhahaaaaa!


And, you see, because you're all such stressed, terrifed rats flat out on our artfully constructed treadmill of work, shopping, death and taxation, begging your governments or your gods or even superman to come and save you from the pointlessness of your miserable existences, you're going to jump at the chance to live in our Brave New World...Order your ticket out of this nightmare in advance! We'll be offering you immortality by messing about with your genes some more and maybe injecting some of our lovely nascent Nanotechnology. We'll be offering you cybernetic implants that will make your Ego faster, better, stronger, and smarter. We'll be offering you the chance to live forever in some upgraded Cloud called Heaven 2.0 or some such. Don't worry about losing your soul in the process, we've done a fine job convincing you you don't have one, remember? So what have you really got to lose?


Suck-ERRRRS!!!!!

Humanity is the Media's plaything

Posted by Demonblogger on August 9, 2012 at 5:10 AM Comments comments (0)

In case you hadn't sussed it out yet, we Demons control the media. Not totally, of course (yet) - you still get the odd tiresome killjoy who cares more about the 'truth' than he does about having a nice fat paycheck for writing what we tell him to write. Usually, these types are naive, single and have no responsibilities, so if they refuse to be bought, it's a cinch to label them as geeky weirdo fantasist fruitcakes, hurgh hurgh, hurgh!


Why do you think we've been flat out selling you the idea that it's cool and sexy to settle down and have a nice normal family since oh, the beginning of time? We know how you feel about your families and children! And we never get tired of seeing how you become putty in our hands once you start banging out a couple of kids. (Twas even me who first started you using the term kids in English instead of children. I was awarded an Infernal Medal of Neurolinguistic Manipulation for it too, and it has pride of place on my private sacrificial altar. The idea was to get you to subconsciously dehumanise your children. Worked brilliantly didn't it. Who says 'children' anymore? It sounds so terribly pompous and formal with its unnecessary extra syllable, tee hee hee! I also managed to get you to start using 'Human Resources' instead of 'Personnel' for similar reasons....bwahahaha!)


I digress. It is every Demon's perogative to wallow in his own brilliance. Where was I? Oh yes, kids and sprogs (that wasn't one of mine, that was my cheap and nasty rival Asbodeus. I routinely piss on his bonfire). Kids and sprogs (hmmm, I'm wondering if I could even push the term larvae for my next infernal medal) keep most of you nicely compliant. And the more important your position, the higher up you wanna get in our Food Chain / Ziggurat, the more vital it is to be seen playing happy families. Because once you have kids dependent on you, you become dependent on us. And of course we know that you will kiss so much more arse once this happens. Soldiers will follow the most atrocious of orders if they can be convinced they're doing it for their kids back home. Low-ranking politicians will sell out their own brothers. Policemen will terrorise the innocent and John Q Taxpayer will stab his neighbour in the back to keep the little cherubs in that safe little world you summoned them into. It's just wonderful how utterly true this fact is!


You don't need to worry about technology one day turning you all into machines. You're already machines...and guess who's pressing the buttons, baby!

MWA HAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Land Ownership

Posted by Demonblogger on August 7, 2012 at 5:10 AM Comments comments (2)

Hi all! I'm the Special Guest Demon Blogger on this website, providing the Antithetic Perspective to all this nauseating hi-vibe consciousness awakening tripe that serves as the ethos of Reubar.com.


It's fun to see all you human rats scratching and scrabbling around your whole lives, desperate to claim what few scraps of land we Demons let you fight over. Talk about the single carrot in front of the whole stampeding herd of donkeys, hahaha. Chortle.


Did you know that in the United Kingdom alone, fully half of all rural land is owned by just over half a percent of the population (5th paragraph)! Woo hoo hoo! And still so many of you guys just cannot get enough of hating your next door neighbour whose hedge has sneaked 4cm into your garden. In the USA, there are 18.5 million empty homes and 3.5 million homeless! Beee-AUTIFUL!!! As a Demon, this kind of thing makes me feel particularly horny. Be offended, be very offended. Yum yum. Slurp. Because we both know that you're probably going to take it out on your wife, husband, brother, sister, father, mother, best friend, next door neighbour, work colleague...anyone who we manipulate you to compare yourself to and compete with!


It's rather like those scrumptious Olympics I mentioned last time...tell the world it's about unity and oneness and brotherhood and then get everyone screaming in competition and support of their individual tribe, all the while staring at a flame and being told it's all about warm and fuzzy unity. And how many of you are watching what we Demons are REALLY getting up to while you're all gongoozled and blinded by the light, eh? Look into my eyes...look into my eyes...don't look around the eyes....the eyes...the eyes...(well, the Eye actually but that's for later)...suckers!

The Olympics...that wonderful Eternal Flame

Posted by Demonblogger on August 6, 2012 at 5:15 AM Comments comments (0)

I absolutely LOVE the Olympic Games.


It's a real feast for we Entities wot feed off lo-vibe human emotions. Dee-licious!


First off, you've got that Olympic Flame Relay that you all get so gooey over. You know, the one that Hitler and his cronies introduced for the first time in the 1936 Berlin Olympics. What, you didn't know that? I sense that a lot of you didn't know that. Tee hee hee, your TV channels have been keeping pretty quiet about that one, haven't they? That was a classic Olympic Games, lots of lovely negativity. I burped for about three years.


You're probably wondering how the whole Olympic circus could have adopted so successfully the symbolism from such an infamous Games. Or maybe you're thinking it really doesn't matter because in these enlightened times, Running with the Flame stands for something so much more noble and unifying than was originally intended. To which my response would, of course, be: Ha ha ha ha ha, etc, etc.


Oh, go on then. I'll explain myself. Dear old Adolf was really into occult symbolism. In fact, he was into just about everything occult in a big way. The Flame being carried from Olympia was just one big beautiful nazi propaganda stunt dreamed up by Goebbels. Look at the light, everyone! Wonderful way of grabbing your attention. Great Public Relations exercise. And in occult symbology, who is the bearer of light? Why not try googling light bearer in Latin. See what you get ;-)


Lesson One from us Demons...we get a real BUZZ out of hiding things from y'all in plain sight!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


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